A new poll has found that around eight out of ten children and young people with experience of parental separation or divorce would prefer their parents to split up if they are unhappy, rather than stay together.
The poll of young people aged 14-22 with experience of parental separation, which was carried out by ComRes on behalf of family law organisation Resolution, has revealed fresh insights from children about the levels of involvement and amount of information they would like during their parents’ divorce. The findings are released ahead of a Parliamentary launch of new advice for divorcing parents.
An overwhelming majority (82%) of the young people surveyed said that, despite their feelings at the time, they felt it was ultimately better that their parents divorced rather than stay together unhappily. Key findings from the research shows that children and young people want greater involvement in decision-making during the divorce process:
- 62% of children and young people polled disagreed with the statement that their parents made sure they were part of the decision-making process about their separation or divorce;
- Half of young people (50%) indicate that they did not have any say as to which parent they would live with or where they would live (49%) following their parents’ separation or divorce. Importantly, 88% say it is important to make sure children do not feel like they have to choose between their parents;
- Around half (47%) say that they didn’t understand what was happening during their parents’ separation or divorce;
- Two in ten (19%) agree that they sometimes felt like the separation or divorce was their fault;
- When asked what they’d most like to have changed about their parents’ divorce, 31% of young people said they would have liked their parents not to be horrible about each other to them, and 30% said they would have liked their parents to understand what it felt like to be in the middle of the process;
- Positively, Resolution’s research also showed that many parents are handling their separation admirably. 50% of young people agreed that their parents put their needs first during their separation or divorce.
Clifton Ingram family lawyer and Resolution spokesperson Sarah Benfield said: “I know that parents in Berkshire who are going through a divorce will want to put their children first. Divorce is of course a very stressful thing to go through – but the best way forward is to manage separation in a way that minimises conflict, focuses on the needs of children and helps separating couples to avoid court”.